Adoption Scammers

Sadly, adoption scammers are a real thing. Since our journey began we have been contacted several times by people claiming to have pregnancies or young children to adopt. In all those cases, there was no child and no pregnancy.

As part of our adoption journey we have been forced to join resource groups that share stories about these men and women. They usually keep their stories similar and reuse details. Adoption Advocates and adopting families turn the tide, and band together to share information so that the scammers can't negatively impact our amazing families. We go post the details of the involvement to help others see the red flags.

There are two primary kinds of adoption scammers.

1. Financial Scammer - There is a pregnancy, they will enter arrangements with you and accept financial assistance and cost of living expenses with no intention of adoption. They plan to parent their child but will use you to fund their lifestyle in the mean time. They begin their financial requests immediately after finding you, and are often working together in groups. They are usually extremely easy to work with in the beginning, and then their stories start to fall apart.

2. Emotional Scammer - These are usually women who contact adopting families to mess with them. Some times it is a man pretending to be a woman. There is rarely an actual pregnancy or adoptable child. They want to make you cry, ask for detailed emotional explanations, and rarely ask for cash. They want to be taken care of or loved and will fake a pregnancy to try to have strangers be nice to them while they perpetrate despicable fraud.

Protect your family and always trust your gut. Listen when they speak, don't give away any personal information, and write things down. Also, refer them directly to your social worker or attorney and do not make any arrangements prior to verifications.
 

Hi Village!

We have continued to plug away at our homestudy paperwork. A homestudy sounds like a very simple thing. It sounds like someone comes to your house, looks around, and decides whether or not you are worthy to foster or adopt. It's a very deceptive title due to the 30 steps, and obscene amount of paperwork that is involved. It has taken us just over a month to tick off a handful of paperwork items on our task list. #28 is the item that is the actual Homestudy. The items in bold have been completed. We must attend our application interview next to proceed to finish our task list. We have completed 18 of 30 steps.

1. Upload Photo
2. Pay Application Fee ($1,000)
3. Pay Technology Fee ($150)
4. Application Interview
5. Register for Adoptive Parent Preparation Class
6. Update Placement Preferences (after class)
7. Types of Adoption
8. Autobiography for Applicant 1
9. Autobiography for Applicant 2
10. Medical Assessment for Applicant 1
11. Medical Assessment for Applicant 2
12. Pediatric Medical Assessment
13. Home Safety Standards Checklist
14. Marriage Certificate
15. Divorce Decrees (if applicable)
16. Child Adoption Decree or Birth Certificate
17. Financial Disclosure
18. Income Verification
19. Fee Agreement
20. Print Background Check Instructions
21. Fingerprint Waiver
22. Print and Sign Fingerprint Release (Applicant 1)
23. Print and Sign Fingerprint Release (Applicant 2)
24. References
25. Directions to Home
26. Pay Homestudy Fee ($2,500)
27. Confirm All Homestudy Tasks and Documentation Submitted to Agency
28. Home Visit and Interviews
29. Review Sample Birthparent Letter
30. Upload Birthparent Letter. 

Chucktober: Day 31

Chucktober Day 31: Thats it kids. We've reached the end of our converse yellow brick road. You've seen my rainbow, heard some of my secrets and know all the different shoes I wear for different roles in my life. This project has backfired several times, forced some hard realizations and has been eye opening for me. I've been very uncomfortable speaking candidly to people I didn't think were paying attention. Now I know what I mean and how far I reach...and also how insignificant I sometimes am. Thank you for watching me try to become something better than I was.

These are my Big Bird shoes. I bought them to wear with my little boy on Halloween. There will never be anything more important than remembering to have fun with my child. This is a life well lived.

Chucktober: Day 30

Chucktober Day 30: People in love are disgusting. They fawn all over each other, making smoochy noises and saying saccharin sweet things like "no, you hang up". People in new love are even worse, making personal decisions based on a galloping libido and daydreams of happily ever after in gingerbread houses. However, it worked out for me because when my husband's heart started to go pitter pat like a freight train he bought his very first pair of Converse. Even worse, he bought me a matching pair.

My husband was drinking the kool aid and I was right there alongside him. I wanted to figure out how to really love someone and it's always been him. He's the right one. The one made for me.

My husband is always on my mind and walks with me in my heart. Benjamin fits, just like our ridiculous matching shoes.

 (I am surprised that almost all of these posts from 2 years ago are still relevant, accurate, and feel the same.)

Chucktober: Day 29

Chucktober was a posting experience I originally did in 2012. I am reposting all of them as we sell my collection on eBay. This is for raising funds, adoption awareness, and support for strong families.

Chucktober Day 29: My pink chucks are covered in mud. They still have remnants of all the hard work Ben and I put into our Whittier house. They have been through dirt and paint and projects. My pink chucks sat at the back slider to slip on to go outside with the dog or pull some weeds. They were there when the air conditioner went out during record heat and I had to hose down the dog (and myself). They were there the first time my dog couldn't get up by herself after a nap in the yard. They were there when our dumb fluffy cat got caught in a bush across the ditch and needed rescue. These chucks sat by the door every time I went to the hospital and every moment I laid on the couch with my hands across my belly praying Buffalo would be born healthy and safe. I stared at them for months, always just hoping it would be better soon.

These shoes still sit by the back slider in this house. Then theyll sit at the next house. And the next house. I'll never knock off the dirt, the dog hair, or the memories. These shoes hurt me because they exist but I am no longer me without them

(P.S. I was right. Those are still covered in mud, sitting by the door).

Chucktober: Day 28

Chucktober Day 28: Yellow chucks are really hard to find. I like yellow a lot and once in a while I find a pair with yellow details. These great pastel blue chucks are lined in lemon yellow and came with blue and yellow laces. They're like the sky and sunshine. I also like that I found them for $19.99 on zappos and their shipping is always free. I also like colored sidewall details like this has. There isn't anything special about these, just another Easter egg color hunt pair for my rainbow.

Chucktober: Day 27

Chucktober Day 27: Today we don't have shoes with a memory. We don't have shoes I've ever touched. Today we have the image of the custom chucks my husband ordered me for my birthday. I have coveted a pair of leopard print chucks for a very long time, but I'd never thought about adding orange (which I like, a lot). These are my brand new leopard print chucks with orange stitching, orange and black sidewalls and orange laces. My husband got me the most poignant and thoughtful gift possible at this time. Thank you for memories Jamin.

(I've included a photo and post from the day these were received)

My husband knows that the way to my heart is straight through my feet. My birthday chucks are here and perfect! Thank you Bebe!