9/10/2014

I had a bit of a shock. I assumed someone would be supportive, and they don't approve of what we are doing at all. I knew from the moment we began our journey that there would be haters, naysayers, and trolls. I made a mistake assuming that the negativity would come from people we didn't know. Our life will not be approved by everyone. Our intentions will not be approved by everyone. Luckily, I don't think I've ever wasted a moment waiting on approval. Insecure people wonder what others think and let it influence them. Confident people raise an eyebrow, put our boots on, and keep on truckin'.

I have friends and family all over the world who are helping us with our search. They are keeping us in their thoughts, researching possibilities for us, and giving us suggestions and support. The people who support our family are the ones who are always there. The ones I can call for anything, will listen to me cry over anything, and help us hit the ground running when our heartaches are soothed. We need those people. We need every person who wants to help us. We need thousands of sets of eyes to know our story. We need the entire world to know the process, hoop jumping, and huge expense involved in adopting a child in the United States. We will educate, smash ignorance to pieces, and answer any questions that come up for those riding along with us.

We've been told that the most important part of adoption is having a team you feel confidence in. People who work in adoption who want you to have a child will help make it happen. We spoke with several agencies and chose the one that felt natural to us. We were told that our emails and phone calls would be answered within 24 hours. My two line emails from last week have gone unanswered. The voice mail that I left on Monday morning has gone without reply. I am thankful that this agency showed their true colors before we gave them any funds or signed any contracts. We are still researching agencies in town. Luckily the hoops we are jumping are universal and this will not cause us any hindrance or delay. We will simply have all information ready for a different agency than we expected.

Yesterday my friend Katy sent me an idea. She sent me a link to the local Catholic Charities Facebook page. We had contacted Catholic Charities in Los Angeles several years ago, before our son was born, and their wait times and fees were on par with any other private agency. We automatically discounted them when starting our search in Las Vegas. I almost didn't check it out. I was so sure it would be the same. Then I looked, then I read, then I was thankful for my friend and her great ideas. Here, they estimate themselves at 20% less than the local agency standard. I sent them an email with links to our pages. We received a phone call within minutes of our inquiry. She had read our story, and said they want to help. A welcome packet was in our inbox 5 minutes later. Did we find our team? Will this be it? Is this the new correct first step? I don't know, but I'll take any extra happy thought or prayers you have on the matter.

Each night I look at the sky. I sit on the porch in the dark and revel in no roof over my head. I take in the brilliant stars and the black mystery of the cosmos, and each night I wonder how many stars will be born before ours.

We're McCann's, not McCant's.
-A.