Today is turning out to be a really interesting day. We have had two birth moms contact us previously, only once each, and we didn't hear from them again. That doesn't mean they've discounted us, it simply means they haven't made a decision. The first two birth moms were both in the second trimester. Most adoptions do not solidify until the last few weeks of pregnancy because birth mom has time to consider all her options. She can choose to parent. She can choose other adoptive parents. She can choose to give custody to an agency to place her child for her. At the very end she is likely confident of her choice, and birth mom can make a strong decision. The birth mom that contacted us today gave birth last week. She had chosen parents for her child months ago, and it didn't go as planned. I can't, and won't, give details of her journey, but it's not fair and its not filled with love.
Our McCann Family Adoption Journey has just started to hit the emotional risk portion of the adventure. I need to make sure we're all strapped in tight. Adoption should be supportive and genuine. Everyone that is involved in the equation should be comfortable, happy, and sure of their choices. This is the part where I ask you to support people you know going through adoption. More often than not the average family prepares for a pregnancy for about 7 months. An adoptive family using a private agency will wait an average of 18-36 months from their date of inquiry for their child come home to them. An adoptive family using a public agency will wait an average of 3-6 years, however this varies widely based on preferences and metro area. A birth mom independently choosing an adoptive family can take anywhere from a few days to many years. 7 months of planning would be wonderful, but that's not in our stars. We will just jump when it's time to jump. Please be gentle to the people who are waiting, and the birth moms who need help while they figure it out. Neither of them knows how long it will take to find the right people. My sister in law, "T", told me that in her family they like to say that family is a nice soft place to land. I have not forgotten it, because it's how it should be. Make your friends your family, and love them when they need it.
Is it today? Maybe.
-A.
About Me
- The McCann's Want To Adopt
- Hi! We are the McCann's. Our names are Ben & Anna. We are a loving family in Las Vegas, Nevada looking for an infant or young child to adopt. Baby makes 4! Our blog will outline the process we go through to finish our family through adoption. It's going to be honest. It's going to be hard. It's going to be obtrusive. We are publicly sharing our story because word of mouth has always been the most effective way to find a child that needs their forever family.
No comments:
Post a Comment