Our Experiences With Special Needs

I love technology. I love that we are making our presence known on the internet and I love that we are crowd sourcing to find our child. We have become a quick, Google based world. It makes sense that we change with it. Word of mouth is our most valuable resource and every set of eyes that checks out our blog, facebook group, twitter page or fundraising page gets us one step closer to our birth mother finding us. Thank you for your support, and thank you for welcoming adopting families into the technology age.

Adoption agencies are starting to catch up as well. They understand that almost everyone works, life is busy, and the world is fast paced more often than not. We need attention to detail, ease of access, and a common platform with our team. Today we finished our pre-qualification paperwork for Catholic Charities through their online portal. It took us several hours to complete the application paperwork for the last agency. It took us about 30 minutes to finish the same amount of paperwork through the portal. Having access to the same documents as our adoption caseworkers makes me feel like we will all be on the same page. The portal enables us to have everything at our fingertips, 24 hours a day. It was easy and gave the illusion that the adoption process would be quick and painless. I know it was entirely psychological, but it worked. It instilled confidence, the things we're looking for most in our adoption agency.

We have adoption angels all over the country giving out our names to birth mothers who are looking for parents for their child. Birth mothers seems to be drawn to us documenting our journey, and that I am adopted and a birth mother. We've been asked what type of placements we are looking for, and what we are able to handle. The short answer is we would love to adopt an infant or sibling set, however we understand that maybe another child will find their way into our arms. We don't have specific parameters for what we're looking for. Our only requirement is that they be born after spring of 2011. Though we believe our family will grow through infant placement, our hearts might teach us that we are wrong. We have expressed we would also love sibling sets, multiples, and some special needs. We have experience with autism spectrum disorder, sensory processing disorder, and communication developmental delays. Our son 'Buffalo', is high functioning, however appears on the autism spectrum due to his language developmental delays and social emotional development delays. He is now 3, and has made huge strides in catching up with his peers. It is expected that he will grow and mature himself right out of the spectrum disorder diagnosis. He is a sweet, spirited boy, who requires some little extra consideration in daily life. Most children wouldn't notice a wet spot on their t-shirt, but it will stop our son in his tracks so he can go change his clothes. He can't handle tags in his clothing or seams on his socks. We go out of our way to make sure his body is happy and comfortable, so that he can be free to concentrate on growing that big brain. He's a quirky little dude full of energy, smiles, compassion, and love.

Many things about special needs are rarely noticed or understood by parents of children without special needs. More often than not strangers believe he is just difficult or label him a brat. They don't take the time to consider how frustrated they would be if they didn't have their words to use. We have been active in speech therapy for over a year and he has grown by leaps and bounds in 2014, surpassing most of his peers in development, and catching up in the areas that he needed a little boost. Buffalo has a few interesting traits like his dinosaurs have to line up just so, he is obsessed with eating apples, and he is timid in unfamiliar situations. These are all common for children labeled on the spectrum. Buffalo is incredibly affectionate, adores his cat, and is excited about this process. He asks us for a "weedle baby seester" almost every day and is an adoption advocate. He is also an advocate for other kids like him, who might just need a little more. We have an expansive sensory play room that is great for all kids, and we are also always expanding our educational toys. My focus in college was Child Development and I have been fascinated to watch him grow. I am more than a little bit of a nerd and whip out my old text books once in a while when something comes up. More often than not he will sit in my lap the entire time. Buffalo is incredibly smart and has a strong attachment to books. We take some with us wherever we go. He excels in preschool and is a natural leader. I can't wait until he gets to have a sibling or two.

Our little firecracker has graciously supplied us with 4 years of parenting a child who needs a little extra.  It has become part of our daily routine and we don't notice things like making sure there is an extra pair of shoes in the car, just in case. We are seasoned parents who are natural problems solvers. Buffalo has kept us on our toes and made us confident in our desire to expand our family. We are active and constantly play, go to the park, and have adventures. We are not daunted by loving extra, or more than 1 child. Our household is filled with listening to each others needs and parenting with intention. We make sure everyone has what they need to be happy and thrive. I am thankful that Buffalo was our first. He opened our eyes about the realistic expectations and demands of children. We can't wait to do it all over again!
 
We have stars in our eyes, and some children on our heart right now. Thank you for your happy thoughts while we continue our adoption journey.

"I am not an adventurer by choice, but by fate" -  Vincent Van Gogh