Chucktober: Day 30

Chucktober Day 30: People in love are disgusting. They fawn all over each other, making smoochy noises and saying saccharin sweet things like "no, you hang up". People in new love are even worse, making personal decisions based on a galloping libido and daydreams of happily ever after in gingerbread houses. However, it worked out for me because when my husband's heart started to go pitter pat like a freight train he bought his very first pair of Converse. Even worse, he bought me a matching pair.

My husband was drinking the kool aid and I was right there alongside him. I wanted to figure out how to really love someone and it's always been him. He's the right one. The one made for me.

My husband is always on my mind and walks with me in my heart. Benjamin fits, just like our ridiculous matching shoes.

 (I am surprised that almost all of these posts from 2 years ago are still relevant, accurate, and feel the same.)

Chucktober: Day 29

Chucktober was a posting experience I originally did in 2012. I am reposting all of them as we sell my collection on eBay. This is for raising funds, adoption awareness, and support for strong families.

Chucktober Day 29: My pink chucks are covered in mud. They still have remnants of all the hard work Ben and I put into our Whittier house. They have been through dirt and paint and projects. My pink chucks sat at the back slider to slip on to go outside with the dog or pull some weeds. They were there when the air conditioner went out during record heat and I had to hose down the dog (and myself). They were there the first time my dog couldn't get up by herself after a nap in the yard. They were there when our dumb fluffy cat got caught in a bush across the ditch and needed rescue. These chucks sat by the door every time I went to the hospital and every moment I laid on the couch with my hands across my belly praying Buffalo would be born healthy and safe. I stared at them for months, always just hoping it would be better soon.

These shoes still sit by the back slider in this house. Then theyll sit at the next house. And the next house. I'll never knock off the dirt, the dog hair, or the memories. These shoes hurt me because they exist but I am no longer me without them

(P.S. I was right. Those are still covered in mud, sitting by the door).

Chucktober: Day 28

Chucktober Day 28: Yellow chucks are really hard to find. I like yellow a lot and once in a while I find a pair with yellow details. These great pastel blue chucks are lined in lemon yellow and came with blue and yellow laces. They're like the sky and sunshine. I also like that I found them for $19.99 on zappos and their shipping is always free. I also like colored sidewall details like this has. There isn't anything special about these, just another Easter egg color hunt pair for my rainbow.

Chucktober: Day 27

Chucktober Day 27: Today we don't have shoes with a memory. We don't have shoes I've ever touched. Today we have the image of the custom chucks my husband ordered me for my birthday. I have coveted a pair of leopard print chucks for a very long time, but I'd never thought about adding orange (which I like, a lot). These are my brand new leopard print chucks with orange stitching, orange and black sidewalls and orange laces. My husband got me the most poignant and thoughtful gift possible at this time. Thank you for memories Jamin.

(I've included a photo and post from the day these were received)

My husband knows that the way to my heart is straight through my feet. My birthday chucks are here and perfect! Thank you Bebe!

Chucktober: Day 26

Chucktober Day 26: I like philanthropy. I like donating money, objects, time and thought to charitable causes. I'm a natural born capitalist which means most often I donate cash. I usually have one or two things on my amazon list that donate to a cause but I never buy them. I don't like purchasing tangible objects for donations, it's just a weird quirk I have.

I had a best friend for over a decade. Now I don't. He bought these for my 27th birthday in 2006, just after I had spent 6 months imploding my life. These converse were part of the Inspi(red) movement from the time. They are covered in birds in flight. I like the symbolism but I hate the memory. It was a very kind gesture and showed a lot of thought and caring. Now it just stings.

I didn't want to put these on because I don't want to talk about my friend. I thought he was my brother and a friend for life. I was wrong.

Chucktober: Day 25

Chucktober Day 25: These are unusual chucks. They are black soled with red sidewall details, brown canvas, heraldic shadow print in a lighter brown and black lace grommets. These are also one of my newest pairs. I purchased them on the cheap to replace one of my favorite pairs from high school. These shoes don't have great memories yet, but they are a placeholder for all of the good times I had wearing their predecessors. I wore through those shoes walking around my hometown before I got a car. I wore them to school dances, almost lost them in Beyer Park, had them on most poetry nights at J Street Cafe and took my driving test in them. It wasn't a happy portion of my life, but those shoes still brought me great joy. Life isn't always beautiful, but you can always find moments that are. Be good to your shoes and they'll take you wherever you want to go.

Waiting...and good news for friends

Hi Village,

We sent a note to the facilitator for the most recent birth Mom yesterday, sending our well wishes for birth Mom and the family she had chosen. It's important to support everyone, even when it isn't us. We were shocked when we received a message saying that birth Mom hasn't chosen yet. We are still being considered and will wait patiently until we hear something definitive.

Today we had a bright ray of sunshine. A family we care about finalized their adoption today. Today isn't going to be about us. Today is about them. So, for today, can you take all those great prayers, happy thoughts, and love you've been giving us and shower it on them instead? The universe, god, yahweh, whomever...knows exactly who they are. Today is their day. Today makes forever.

Love only multiplies.

-A.

Chucktober: Day 24

Chucktober Day 24: Converse calls this color Aruba Blue. I call it Tiffany Blue. It matches those beautiful little bags perfectly. These were a consolation prize (and preference) for all the pieces of jewelry from Tiffany that won't fit me without ugly extensions. In addition to huge feet I also have huge hands, wrists and neck. I love this color and will have a lot more fun with these chucks than I ever would with a bracelet or necklace. It also goes nicely with all my colorful socks!

(All Chucktober posts are reposts from 2012. We are resharing and will be posting these shoes on eBay at the end of October to add to our adoption funds).

No news is...bad news?

Hi Village,

We haven't heard anything from the birth Mom or facilitator from the weekend. The child had already been born, and usually that creates a very quick series of events. Since we have not had to spring into action, it's unlikely that we will. I sent the facilitator a note this morning telling her that we assume birth Mom has found excellent folks for her son, and that we are excited for the new family. We will always cheer on the players of this game, and successful adoptions will get standing ovations. Our family cheers, laments, and celebrates trials and tribulations. Every step that an adopting family takes will get them closer to finding their child, the one who is meant to be with them. We share information, support, and sometimes we are going to end up helping other people find their children before us. Someday, we hope that someone chooses to help us in that way too. We are thankful for all adoption angels, supporters, and kind hearts who want to assist our journey. We need you.

Though we are excited that a little boy found his family, we are also a bit sad. Adoption can take a emotional toll on families that are waiting. You have to make sure you maintain the right attitude, speak your ills, and learn to move on towards progress. In this case, progress means bringing our child home in our arms. We don't know when that will be. We have had 4 legitimate situations presented to us so far, and have had no matches or contracts. We have never spoken with a birth mother directly or exchanged direct messages with anyone. Our social worker says this is normal and that it will likely stay this course until we find the one. Once our birth Mom finds us, everything feels fast but there are still no guarantees until that child comes home to us. There is now way of knowing when that will happen. I don't say IF because defeat simply is not an option.

We have finished 19 of our 30 steps in our Home Study. The rest of our steps are just waiting on scheduling availability, or can't be completed until we have a match. We are raring and ready to go, working on our family profiles, and finishing up pictures for our book. Each day we do a bit more, and each day we get one step closer to catching our shooting star.

-A.

Chucktober: Day 23

These are my favorie chucks of all time. They are velvet and leather, rare, and extremely hard to find. 

Repost from October 2012: ---This one was hard for me to repost today, in 2014. It has been over a year since my last miscarriage and it took at least six months to really feel like we were okay. We thought we would conquer our reproductive demons through fertility treatments and have many biological children. We were wrong. That isn't how we are meant to finish our family. ---

Chucktober Day 23: Do you have a pair of shoes that makes you feel awesome? I have several, but these are special. These are my pimp shoes. They are maroon velvet with black leather stripes. I put them on my feet and feel like I'm rad.

Today I need to feel rad while I sit in the Reproductive Endocrinologist's waiting to get stabbed and then wait for a phone call this afternoon.Today we find out if we're ready to start our last round of trying to have another baby. I need a lot of happy thoughts today to try to keep my fear of failure at bay. Wish me luck!

Chucktober: Day 22

Chucktober Day 22: These are my Bob Ross happy little clouds chucks. They are the color of a perfect sky. My favorite part of these chucks are the gray and black contrast strips on the sidewalks. There is also a dark grey detail stripe where the canvas meets the toe cap. There is no special story, no deep meaning and I didn't wake up introspective today. Today they are just shoes.

Chucktober: Day 21

Chucktober Day 21: I woke up at 5am because I heard my dog having a bad dream. She was abused before she came to us and often had to be woken to escape dreams of the bad people. I never begrudged her needing assistance to get away from her demons. Today was only strange because it's been 3 months since she died. I finally moved her bed to the garage a few days ago and almost everyday I hear her or feel her near. I miss her.

There has been a velvet bag on my mantle for 90 days. It's embroidered with "until we meet again, across the rainbow bridge". I knew it was just packaging but I hadn't been able to bring myself to open it. I keep trying to imagine that I'm not still heartbroken over my dog. I keep imagining that she's getting a bath or enjoying the cooler weather in a bright patch of sun in the yard. None of its true. She's gone and I hurt.

This morning I finally had the stones to pull the drawstring free. My eyes are still overrun with tears at the kindness of people who never knew me, but knew just how much we loved our dog. Now I have Tessa's footprints and a note telling me how much she loves me. Don't worry Momma Dog, I already knew that. You were always my girl.

Today has nothing to do with shoes. It's about loving your family, with shoes or without.

Chucktober: Day 20

Chucktober Day 20: I get a big thrill when I find a pair of girl colored chucks in my size and price range. When I ran across these lavender beauties I knew they had to come home with me. I wear these all the time because I love the color. They remind me of butterflies.

P.S. That is Magnolia, the wonder cat.

Chucktober: Day 19

Chuctober Day 19: Today has been weird. Some jerk in a parking lot dented my car and didn't leave any info, my Dad told me that we're amazing parents and offered money for more fertility rounds if needed, everyone in Las Vegas today drove like a tool and my Mom got on a plane and went home. Everything today felt a bit strange and I didn't like it.

My husband, Benjamin, calls these my Chi Phi chucks. They match his fraternity colors perfectly and they make him smile. Much like today, most of the Chi Phi guys also make me feel a bit strange. Luckily, I like them. Here's one for the homies.

Chucktober: Day 18

Chucktober Day 18: I've spent the last 18 hours thinking about my relationships. I've been thinking about how I interact with different people (or groups of people) and what I allow them to see. I've thought about the different compartments I shove people into and how I'm eager to move on once I no longer have a proper storage slot for them. I've thought about all of the people I've loved and lost to death or distance. I've thought about all of the people who've loved me without anything in return. I've thought about all of the people who I've let down and all the missed opportunities to be a good example. I've also thought about all the people who I am very glad are gone and the people I've needed to let go of much sooner. Sometimes we need to embrace what we enjoy and make sure that the things that unnecessarily burden our souls go away.

These Chucks are my Lorax chucks. They are awesome and they make me smile. They have nothing to do with my story except that these soles make me happy.

Chucktober: Day 17

Chucktober Day 17: They're teal, they're neat, they were cheap and they fit perfectly. These pair are also in my constant rotation (and need some rubbing alcohol attention). I bought these for $10 on clearance last fall because I'd never seen the color. Then they turned into the shoes I was wearing when Buffalo, our son, finally learned to walk. I've tried to figure out a way to attach all of these memories physically to the shoes so time doesn't fade the clarity but I haven't figured out how to do that and also still wear them. Chucktober has helped me realize that I have a lot of great memories and that tangible history is one of my favorite things ever.

Chucktober: Day 16

Chucktober Day 16: When I was a kid I always wanted black on black converse. I usually got everything I wanted but for some reason these never happened. The black on blacks are never on sale and can be hard to find in a store front. About 2 years ago I used credit card rewards points to get these puppies for free and at a discount. I feel like they are special occasion shoes and usually only wear them at night. I guess that makes these my go to heels!

New Birth Mom - 10/20/14

We had an excellent long weekend of fun. Daddy was out in the field and Little Dude and I had a great time snuggling, spending time together, and having adventures. I am thankful for all the moments with my son. We don't just live, we make memories.

We also had an unexpected birth Mom appear on the scene. A friend sent me a note over the weekend introducing a birth Mom and baby boy into our lives. A friend of my friend is helping a birth Mom find her son's parents. We sent over a letter and a copy of our blog, facebook, and twitter. We maintain a very open presence so that when situations like this arise, it's easy for someone to take a look at us in a very non committal way. Birth Moms can give us a gander, and discount our family without us ever knowing. Or, birth Mom could have read any of our pages and fallen in love in a heartbeat. Until the moment happens, we will never know how our child found us.

The third party facilitator says we are exactly what the birth Mom is looking for and that birth Mom has our letter and info. I wonder if being adopted and also a birth mother will help me here. Does understanding of what she feels mean we are the right people to raise her son? I have no way of knowing. I am trying desperately not to get excited, but my heart simply won't listen. Is our journey about to be over? We don't know yet. This is how adoption happens. Lightning strikes, everyone falls in love, and a family is made. Adoption doesn't mean you bring home a child. Adoption means you bring home an entire biological family in your heart. We are ready for our shooting star to find us, and until then, we wait.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

Happy Saturday Village! Who got the title reference? I'm psychic. I bet if you did understand, you were born before 1989. Was I right? If you don't know what I'm talking about, then these are not the droids you're looking for.

I will catch up on Chucktober and some other family happenings Sunday evening. We are having adventures and hanging out this weekend. We have a lot of fun on our plate. It started off great and we are having a great time. I often love living in Las Vegas because of the vast range of activities and cultural exhibits we have at our fingertips. There are always things to do, places to learn, and locals discounts!

Thursday night we hit the Las Vegas Foodie Fest at The Linq. It is in a much better spot now, but parking could be a problem. People were trawling for spaces as we were leaving. We arrived early and most of the parking was full. Little Dude and I rode janky carnival rides all night long. He got to stay up way past his bedtime and we had fun. My son likes rides, roller coasters, and big sensory experiences. He has no fear. That little boy wanted to try the Gravitron. He exceeded the height and weight requirements. He is old enough to be able to express his wants and be allowed to make recreational choices. Folks, we went on the Gravitron. We were the only people on it and the operator and I were both looking at him the entire time. We went slow. He held my hand and had a blast. Then he was done, we stopped immediately. I asked him if he liked it. Little Dude looked me in the eyes, smiled beautifully, and said "No, Momma. I didn't like that at all." He was so happy that he tried something new and big that he did not even care that he didn't have fun. Having a literal child means I have free comic relief almost constantly.

We are busy bees. I will talk to you soon friends. Thanks for being here.

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

I understand that not everyone shares their pain. Some wrap it up in a tight little ball and keep their secret dark spot to themselves. I am not one of those people. Each of our 4 lost children should be honored. They were deeply loved, regardless of how long they were in my body before they moved to my heart.

Chucktober: Day 15

 (In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

 

Chucktober Day 15: Did you know that October 15 is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day? Well, now you do. Take a minute to think about all the parents who will never hold their babies today. It's a lot of people and even if you never knew it happened to them it's still a dark spot on their hearts.

I don't normally match my chucks to my clothes. I wear what pair I feel like. Today I just happened to also be wearing a Kelly green shirt. Today I'm a little extra Irish, a little extra hopeful and a little extra aware of other broken hearts.

We're halfway through Chucktober and I don't see it slowing down. I'm sharing my rainbows.

Chucktober: Day 14

My original post from 2012 was missing from my facebook page. I am unable to share Chucktober Day 14. It was a total bummer to miss a day.

Chucktober: Day 13

 (In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

For anyone not paying attention, Chucktober has turned into an actual sharing of feelings that I didn't anticipate. Last night I had convinced myself that it was okay to stop and just shove everything back into the closet. I went to bed with a heavy heart and still filled with anger. Don't get me wrong, I woke up that way too, but today it's different. I woke up knowing I'm simply not a quitter and I have never stopped working for anything I've ever wanted.

These Chucks are a gorgeous dark pink called raspberry. I bought them about 6 months ago when I thought I'd be pregnant at any moment and was hoping for a girl. I was saving them for when that day came. I think that day is purely theoretical so today I cracked open the box and wore my little girl chucks for the first time. I have hoped and dreamed about a house filled with kids since I started dating my husband. Sometimes what we want and what is aren't compatible and it's time to just put one foot in front of the other. So, here I go. One step at a time.

Unexpected Gifts

Friday night we checked the mail just before we intended to leave for the Grand Canyon. Our jaws hit the floor when we received an unexpected $5,000.00 check from a family member. We have now reached 92% of our fundraising goal. We are at $22,260.00 of our $24,150.00 goal. The love and support we have received is amazing. We are in a position to say yes to any placement opportunity. We are so excited to have met the financial line in the sand to finish this process.
 

Chucktober: Day 12

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

  

These should be my favorites, but they're not. I cannot remember when I got these or who gave them to me, I just know it was someone who is no longer around and that I did not purchase them. These always felt like my magic shoes, like I could fly.

Chucktober: Day 11

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna, These are not for sale)

  

What you see is a plain pair of black chucks. What you see is wrong. These aren't plain black chucks. They are my favorite chucks. They are black canvas with black leather zebra stripes. They are chucks that have been set on fire, drowned in a bathroom flood, temporarily lost and through hell. They are also the first chucks I reach for, the ones I wear the most and also fit me like they were made for my feet, and have long been referred to as my "fire shoes".

These chucks came to live with my Thanksgiving of 2006. I came out to visit my same Thanksgiving friends and stopped at the outlet at State Line just like always. My zebra chucks were sitting and waiting for me on the clearance rack. It was love at first site. I wore them out of the store and continued on my merry way to my friends house.

Charity Morgan, do you remember when we set your backyard on fire? It was that Thanksgiving and we started the outdoor fireplace at the old house. I looked out the back slider and saw that some char had jumped and set the "grass" on fire. I ran out the door and we all started jumping up and down to put it out? Yeah, that was day 2 or so of having these shoes. They looked like they had been worn for years because of the fire and my pinstriping on the soles pulled away. They became my favorites that day and I haven't stopped wearing them since. Isn't it strange how shoes can have so many great adventures?

Chucktober: Day 10

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

We're 1/3 of the way through Chucktober. Has anyone noticed the commonality of my chucks collection yet? These chromatic chucks don't have a story, they're just shiny. Ooooooooooooh shiny.

Chucktober: Day 9 - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

Chucktober Day 9: "The Anniversary Edition". My husband and I eloped. Wedding planning had turned into a much bigger deal than either of us was interested in and man were my feet cold. I told Ben that if he didn't want me to back out that he needed to pick a date and not even tell me when. I wanted a dress and photographer and that was it. A few weeks later we stole away about 20 miles (and only told a few people) and quietly got married in beautiful Ventura. I will give you exactly one guess as to what shoes I was wearing that day (for everything except our 6 minute ceremony). I got ready in those shoes, drove to the beach in those shoes, took photos in those shoes and even wore them for our luxurious private bbq wedding dinner. The people in that restaurant didn't expect to see a lady in a wedding dress show up, but we were starving! I had never been happier, more in love, or so tired. I have learned that it was only the beginning of happiness and that love multiples.

I have been told by my husband that I've been granted a 1 year extension on my contract with additional options to renew. The pretty flowers on my desk are a good faith installment on all the love and effort the next year will require. I am already looking forward to my next renewal...and the one after that...and the one after that. I love you Benjamin, thank you for marrying me and giving my shoes amazing memories. Happy Anniversary!

Chucktober: Day 8

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

 Chucktober Day 8: I like pink. It's my favorite color. Most of my shirts are varying shades of pink. Pink is also a girl color that is hard to find in men's shoes sizes (go figure). These baby pink chucks don't have a story. Instead they have pink star shoe laces and put a smile on my face. It's nice to feel like a girl once in a while.
 

10/7/14 - Yesterday we declined a match

Adoption is often unexpected. Babies come when they damn well please and it's impossible to know when or how. Yesterday turned interesting. I was at the airport waiting for my Mom (a.k.a. Grams) to come visit us when I idly checked facebook. There was a message from a member of our Village about a little boy in need of a family. My heart almost exploded and I got goose bumps, then I kept reading. He is to be born tomorrow, 10/8/14. His estimated agency fees are $30,000.00. We declined the match due to lack of cash on hand. In addition to the $30k in agency fees, we would also be responsible for cross country travel in addition to the regular expenses associated with bringing home a child. The agency fees also would not cover the visits from social workers, finalization, or legal costs after our child comes home to us. We fell short by roughly $3,000. Even though I know that he must not be meant to be ours, my heart screamed all night. I asked my friends and family to please pray for that little boy. He deserves to be loved and adored with a family like ours. I hope that baby goes home to a happy big brother, an ecstatic new momma, and a daddy that would do anything for him. I dreamt of family fun time on the beach and a lifetime of happiness for him. I hope it comes true. I wish he was ours, but he's not. 
 
We have fundraised $17,230.00 so far. We are selling t-shirts and putting all of my converse on eBay. We are hoping to raise awareness about the costs of adoption while we save our pennies and put our dreams together. People all think they know about adoption, but they don't. Can you imagine going to the hospital, having a child, then having to come up with $30,000.00 before you could leave? That's private adoption folks, cash is king, and until we have the right amounts of money and the right situation no child is ours. We knew going into this that adoption is expensive, invasive, and often fails. What we didn't expect was to ever have to say no because we didn't have the jingle in our pockets.

I am sad, but it's made us even more determined. I haven't spoken about it much, but we are in love with someone we've never even talked to directly. We have had our fingers crossed for a month, hoping to hear from Birth Mom #2 again. The situation seemed perfect for us and it put a shiny gold star up in the back of our minds. When a scammer has trolled us, or a birth mom has been dangled, we both say we hope to hear from Birth Mom #2. She isn't due until March and has a very long time to decide what is best for her and her family. Will it be adoption? Will it be parenting? Will it be us? Are we the ones? Is SHE the one? Last night when we chose to say no we did it with the hope that maybe our Birth Mom is already on the edge of our lives. It might just be a fairy tale, but it keeps our hearts warm. Where is our child? We don't know, but we're watching the sky every night, waiting for our shooting stars.

Chucktober: Day 7

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

Chucktober Day 7: These are my Green Eggs and Ham Converse. They were brand new when I originally posted Chucktober in 2012. These shoes didn't have memories associated with them. Now they do.

These are my sons favorite Chucks. He lines my shoes up in a row and plays with them all the time. Right now all my chucks are on the bedroom floor, waiting to be listed on eBay. My son doesn't understand that Momma is selling her shoes. He just knows that we are growing babies in our hearts. We are a strong Seuss family and have most of the books, we read them often. We are serious book lovers, all three of us. These shoes are now associated with my awesome child, my happy family, and the things we've built together. These are among the few pairs that I am not selling. These belong to our entire family, including the members we haven't met yet.

Chucktober: Day 6

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

Chucktober Day 6: (The last few days has been a bit more than I anticipated in the feeling department. Todays post is much lighter). Somehow I had managed to love Converse for half my life and had never bought a plain black pair. most people start here, but my love affair has always been with red. I finally bought these during the buy 1, get 2 free frenzy sale at the outlet. They go with everything and the laces are permanently stained from my son throwing spaghetti noodles at the dog. My chucks are tangible history.

Chucktober: Day 5

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

Chucktober Day 5: It's weird that in the 5 years I spent back in SoCal, I still purchased almost all of my Chucks in Las Vegas (or on the way). These chucks are a souvenir of Thanksgiving 2008 when some McCann newleyweds came out to spend the long weekend with friends. I bought them at my lucky chuck spot, the Converse Outlet at stateline.

That Thanksgiving weekend I realized that nostalgia is not a good reason to continue a friendship and that sharing a hometown with someone doesn't mean you have anything in common. That person is long gone from my life, but gifted me with a much better friend (and person) in Charity Morgan. These chucks get to be a souvenir of realization, friendship, and happily cutting ties that shouldn't bind.

All Converse for Sale can be found by searching Seller ID AnnamonsterAnna

Spread The Love! Octopus Adoption Fundraising Shirts

Adoption Fundraising Shirts

Our adoption fundraising shirts can be found at the link above. There are shirts, sweatshirts and long sleeve options. Sizes XS-XXXL. Prices from under $20. Thanks for checking us out!

Chucktober: Day 4

(In 2012 I posted a pair of my converse daily. I posted memories associated or why I loved them. We are selling my converse collection for adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna)

Chucktober Day 4: In early 2008 I was in love. I was scared, confused and having strange thoughts. I was thinking about forever rather than plotting my exit strategy. I would feel my heart speed up when I thought about him and when he wasn't there I missed him instead of being relieved he was gone. I was one of those nauseating people with little birdies and hearts swirling around their head in animation, you know them, we all want to punch them. In early 2008 I was also about to go to Hawaii.

Do you know how you find out how amazing your friends are? Trap them in a box for 7 days with someone smitten and if they don't kill them by the end, they love the twitterpated idiot. I have proof that Jennifer Young and Michael Baer both love me very much, as they endured a week of hearing me talk about a boy. And sighing about a boy. And constantly saying I missed a boy. And bringing him up unnecessarily roughly every 30 seconds. I probably even mumbled poetry in my sleep. I had an amazing time with my friends in Hawaii, having adventures and enjoying a lot of voluntary slowness. I also did not stop thinking about Ben for more than 90 seconds at a time. By the 3rd day of that trip I knew I was all in. By the 5th day I thought I was going to die. By the 8th day I was so happy to land back at LAX that I almost cried. Of course, I had to act cool about it, but I wanted to tell him I'd be happy to never spend a night apart again.

A few months later Ben told me I was going to marry him. I didn't have much of a response. I tried to negotiate getting everything without scary marriage, but he wouldn't have it. Every time I lobbied for an alternate he calmly informed me that I was going to marry him. Two weeks later I bought my blue hawaiian converse. It memorialized my memories of the Hawaii trip and my realization of the depth of my love. It also gave me the stones to finally tell Benjamin McCann he was right. I was going to marry him.

I said that not all of my Chucks have stories. I think I might be wrong.

Chucktober: Day 3

(In October of 2012, I posted one pair of my Converse collection per day, and included memories associated with those shoes, if any. My Chuck collection is a part of my soul. We are selling my collection as part of our adoption fundraising. Our eBay seller ID is annamonsteranna. Thanks for reading our story and helping us finish our family.) 

Chucktober Day 3: I was a late bloomer. I made poor personal decisions and was inconsiderate of a lot of people. I never stepped on other people maliciously, I didn't realize that there were other options. I had managed to make it through life with very little consequence for bad decisions and it helped create an artificial feeling of invincibility. When I turned 26 I had a get my crap together crisis. I was miserable, I was hateful, and I had finally realized that everything that was wrong with my life was of my own making. I worked very hard at making better choices and becoming a real adult. I wanted to make mistakes and I wanted there to be consequences so I could finally learn how to be an adult. I decided that it was time to make changes and one of those changes was moving back to SoCal.

Things were rough around then. I had about $150 bucks to my name and a Great Dane to take care of. I was walking her in Belmont Shore trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do next, when I saw these in the window. My first thought was that they'd never be big enough for me, but that the blooming was nice for the time. I ducked my head in the door to ask how much since I had Tessa and not only were those pink girl chucks in my size, they were also $4. The next day I was offered a great job and things started to fall into place. So, in the end, all it took was $4 and the love of a dog for me to finally bloom.

Chucktober: Day 2

Chucktober Day 2.

Some of my Chucks have great stories. Some of my Chucks have no stories. Some of my Chucks have stories only interesting to me. These are my Moby Dick Chucks. I refuse to pay retail for these shoes and I never saw the dark purple Chucks for less than $45. I kept my eyes open chasing them for years. Last fall, just after we moved to Las Vegas, I harpooned my whale at the Converse Outlet in Primm (stateline). I walked into a buy 1 get 2 free sale on everything in the store and walked out with 3 pairs of Converse I'd been wanting for years. Dreams do come true kids.

Chucktober: Day 1

 

In 2012 I posted my Converse collection and the memories or joy associated with them. We called it Chucktober and it was a cathartic experience after another second trimester miscarriage. Now, we are selling my collection as part of our adoption fundraising efforts. Thanks for reading our journey.

Anna McCann

October 1, 2012 · ·

Since I decided to do "Chucktober" I have been thinking about what pair I should start with. Should I start it off with a brand new pair for symbolism? Should I pick my favorites to start it on a great note? Should I pick a pair that mean something to me? I actually ended up choosing none of those things and picked a pair that corresponds with someone I love very much.

Today begins my month of wearing my favorite shoes, Converse All Stars, every day for 31 days. However, more importantly, today begins my brother in law's new chapter of life dedicated to service of his country. Today Joey reports to the intake center in San Diego to become a member of the United States Navy. We're proud of you Joseph, and today I wear my stars and stripes collection chucks for you!


http://pages.ebay.com/link/?nav=item.view&alt=web&id=151429456851